My father the Poet...

Ryszard Wiśniewski
10.70.1938-3.08.2003

9 month ago I wrote "memento" to my mother, she was agonizing and I was not sure if will be possible to be in hospital in time...yes, I delayed. But participated in burial. Now when getting news about fathers death, being again in foreign mission I feel better...I must not be in hurry. He got last confession and unction during my last visit in hospital in native city Rypin. My letter about mother was praising her for her effort to be holly woman, holly Carmelite. Now I wish praise my father for his strange gift being poet In daily life. He never walked as ordinary man on the road, he ever walked his "foots in heaven". Seems to me my personality is some middle variation of their efforts to make love happy and nice even result was looking totally different.

Germans use to say about woman vocation: Kuche-Kirche-Kinder. Yes my mother was doing so especially Church and Children were her passion. Kitchen (Kuche) was more fathers fashion than hers.

About man we say: House-Son-Tree. Yes he got own house, three sons and some small forest in the garden. It was his most favor fashion inherited from grad father forester. Being in forests he was feeling free and happy, getting back his dignity. Some trees I gave him as memory of may ordination to be a deacon. He was so happy, same my mother. All that time preparing my first Holly Mass Party was time of peace and harmony between father and mother.

Yes, my father was not good educator, he preferred visit forests or make travels around the country than raising sons...His passing occurred also in forest. He got brain attack when he fall down looking for champignons. He wished to stay native town than live with only on daughter who cared him after mothers passing. He escaped from her commenting: "The wolf have to live in forest".

I was asking myself so many times. Why our parents looking so nicely on weddings photos, so sensitive, so beautiful persons were so aggressive so much cases. We have easy answer: because he drink too much. But possibly it was only the top of iceberg. The reason was deeper. The youngest sister of my mother discovered to me that she was impressed how nice couple it was from the beginning. Possibly (she explained), because all the people born in Cancer(zodiac)...are oversensitive...But also I feel it is not the case.

Their behavior was for me not easy question. It was difficult to organize own future having such parents. Only Christianity gave some answers. So I may tell you, my priesthood also, my missionary favor is some kind of inherited gift, which I realized contemplating my soul, and their soul. In fact it was not easy, it still need to be healed.

There is no easy answer. But silence will be worse than asking.

Father was good specialist of the agriculture, but he choices to be a miner also in Silesian South Poland, during my staying in Seminary he tried to work in Ursus, the Warsaw factory of agriculture tracks. He was always as Martin Eden from Jack London stories. He dreamed about looking for his relatives in France and earning money for more interesting life. The only foreign country he visited was Russia. He came in 1993 in Holly Week and participated my poor Spartan life. He was impressed. He asked me to confess him, first time in his life. The next was 10 years later during his staying in Hospital I mentioned before.

I think sometime his pity was he grow in such small and poor country as Poland during soviet period was. He had big knowledge, he liked books and studied them ever, he started also Agricultural University but unable to finish because of alcohol and other addictions.

He just looked for happiness, everybody has such right, his never find it.

Concerning my relationship to him I will follow biblical advice: "Son never criticize, your father even he will loose his brain"...yes his last moments were such: he looked as wounded bird with big unseeing eyes, he lost much of memory, he insisted we call home and talk to Teresa (our mother) and few minutes later realizing himself that she died, and shacked his hand with resignation.

Now my father is walking across Heavenly Counties, looking for Teresa. She was much more wise than he was, possibly because older. I think sometime, also in the day of mothers passing that their conflicts were artificial...he was just jealous...like her fifth child, loosing her attention he was getting more and more angry, when four children appeared. Sometime I explain myself their conflicts had such childish background. It will give me an idea that both loved each other very strange even stupid way, but again: "who am I to criticize"

Both fall crazy from love.

Now this conflict finished, and I hope they may meet each other and share such friendship they got caring each other last two years being together...I hope they may share happiness and hope, that their children's life may be wiser and happier.

Telling you all that story I am encouraging everybody to pray for Teresa and Richard souls. They lived together exactly 40 years and one week exactly, they were separated 9 months only. Without being Christian possibly they will divorce just after 5 or 7 years of happy life. All the rest was just permanent temptation, permanent effort to realize own place in this word and giving much inspiration to their children to be faithful thru all the crazy difficulties of human nature and own characters. They stayed married to help each other raise children and grow in God s eyes. Their own eyes ever full of tears, full of madness. Possibly it was a love story.

I called my father a poet. Even he never made poetries written way.

Now I beg everybody hearing that story to pray his soul, but again similarly like it was in mothers burial time I will ask you not to cry, because for sure, their life there in eternal life will be much more happy than here our days.

Father Jarek Wiśniewski